We like in a
psychologically oriented world. Let me say first that I think psychology and
the psychological and psychiatric disciplines have done us great good in many
ways. But psychological language has become part of our common speech. We use
psychological language to describe our relationships. “Dysfunctional” has
become a word used so often it’s become almost meaningless. In fact, I’m going
to use a psychological term to describe some of what’s happening in this
morning’s Gospel.
I’m actually thankful this particular
psychological term doesn’t get used I common speech. I hesitate to say it since
I’m afraid everyone will decide to use it. The word is “decompensate.” The
first time I heard it used I thought the person said, “decompose.” I guess my
brain simply wouldn’t absorb something that sounded so contrary to what I knew.
Compensating for something I understood, but decompensating? How do you do that?
It turns out, in case you don’t know,
that according to the dictionary, “decompensation” is a psychiatric terms that
means, “failure of defense mechanisms to prevent a mental disorder.”[1]
And that’s what brings us to the Gospel.
I certainly don’t think anyone in the
story is mentally ill, or decompensating, but I do think Simon’s defense
mechanisms are fully in place. Simon the Pharisee is unable to see anything
except the way his culture views women. And, he’s equally unable to see that he
might be in need of forgiveness precisely for that reason.
Let’s set aside our own cultural views
for a moment as well. Many of us have heard this story preached or read things
that told us the woman was a prostitute, a “loose woman.” The text suggests nothing
to indicate what type of sin. She’s just a sinner, as was everyone there and as
are we all.
Most of us don’t like the idea of
defining ourselves as sinners. That’s another thing psychology has done for us.
We’re all supposed to be relentlessly upbeat, focusing on the positive, defining
ourselves as basically good people; doing good things. It doesn’t sound much
different from what Simon the Pharisee was doing. He was defining himself by
his role as a Pharisee: more observant of religious traditions than others,
asking more of himself and his family than others, and looking in the mirror
each morning and, since his defense mechanisms were up, seeing himself as
better than others. No common sinner, but a special sinner, one who didn’t have
much to be forgiven for except the occasional lapse.
We don’t really know why Simon
invited Jesus to dinner. Maybe he thought as a community leader he should take
a closer look at this guy who was causing such a commotion. Maybe he thought
there was something to all this talk about healings. And, maybe, Simon was a
little scared that Jesus was one more radical who was going to cause trouble
with the Romans. For whatever reason Simon offered the invitation, it’s pretty
clear the result wasn’t what he expected. In addition, Simon didn’t offer Jesus
the basic hospitality to which a guest was entitled. No water to wash his dusty
feet, no welcoming kiss, and no anointing with oil to take away the smell of
the street.
To make his point about what
happened, Jesus tells a story. Jesus uses money in this story because the whole
idea of money, of debt, works so well for Simon. And let’s face it, it woks for
us, because this is our human way of being in relationship. We define our relationships
not only in terms of psychology but also in terms of money. Just listen to how
we talk about relationships: he owes
me one, I’m in debt for her kindness,
I wish I could repay him for the time
he spent listening to me.” You get
the idea. Relationships are like money, a commodity.
What Jesus is telling Simon is this:
If you’re going to treat love as a commodity, then spend it recklessly. That’s
the part we miss here: the love. We hear the story as being about forgiveness,
and yes, it is. But the most important part about forgiveness is that failing
to forgive makes our love pinched and small. Not forgiving makes us misers of
love. Extravagant love cannot be offered from a pinched and unforgiving soul.
The part we so often miss in this
story is the most important part for each of us, and despite what psychology
may tell us, we are sinners. We all sin. We all continue to sin. But what we
forget is this: Jesus says to Simon, “Therefore I tell you, her sins, which
were many, have been forgiven; hence she has shown great love.”[2]
That’s what the woman in Jesus’ story
had: great forgiveness, and hence, great love. If you want love, seek
forgiveness. If you want forgiveness, seek love. Be extravagant in forgiveness
and love, both giving and receiving. AMEN.
The Rev Nicolette
Papanek
©2016
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