Two thousand years ago, this weary world had a heart transplant: a
transplant of joy and wonder, a transplant of love. It was love that began with
the breaking of rules.
Breaking rules is something most of us
have a problem with, even if we try to dismiss it. One of our favorite
expressions deals with the entire idea of breaking rules and speaks to our
discomfort about doing so. It’s this: “It’s easier to get forgiveness than
permission”. I use it myself. Another expression we often use is “rules were
made to be broken”. The fact that we have these expressions at all speaks to
our discomfort about breaking rules and reminds us that what we would really
like to do is follow the rules.
Following the rules is easy most of the
time. Societies set up rules for us to follow to preserve peace, to see that
everyone has access to justice, and to make civil encounters that would
otherwise be uncivil or violent.
But the biggest rule of all is
generally unspoken. It’s the rule called, “What will the neighbors think”. This
is the rule Joseph breaks in this morning’s scripture even before he has his
dream.
According to the rules of his time,
Joseph, “being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her (Mary) to public
disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly.”[1]
A righteous man, a rule-follower, of Joseph’s time, no matter how much
he loved Mary, would follow the rules. The rules said that if a woman had been
unfaithful, a man was required to divorce her. It would have been a bill of
divorcement because a betrothal, an engagement during this period was a solemn
contract and in all aspects a marriage, except that the man and woman did not
live together or have what Matthew’s Gospel calls “marital relations.” Joseph would
be upholding the rules by opting out of his relationship with Mary. After all,
if he stayed in the relationship, what would the neighbors think?
You know some of the things people
would think. People would count on their fingers after Mary had her child. They
would assume Joseph had slept with her before their marriage. There would be
whispers that Joseph might not be the child’s father. There would be questions
about who really was the father. If
not Joseph, then who? For a rule
follower, if Joseph claimed the child as his own, he would not uphold the rules
of purity for the Hebrew people. These are some of the things the neighbors
would think.
“What would the neighbors think” is
pretty powerful stuff. It keeps us from doing things that are wrong. And,
sometimes it makes us do things that are right. “What would the neighbors
think” is about impulse control. We may say we don’t really care, but we do.
“What would the neighbors think” is so powerful that centuries ago it even made
its way into icons of St Joseph and the Nativity.
In some Eastern Orthodox icons St Joseph is portrayed talking to a tiny
man in the icon’s corner. Often the man has a rather evil or sly expression;
he’s sinister-looking. At times he is depicted as an imp or small devil, and other
times as the town gossip. He is the representative of what other people will
think. He is social obligation and public opinion. He represents Joseph’s struggle with “what will the neighbors think”.
Yet somehow Joseph’s heart was open enough to realize he needed to lose
his old heart, his rule obeying, law abiding, “what would the neighbors think”
heart. Even before he fell asleep and the angel came into his dream, Joseph became
open to receive his new heart.
What Joseph was told in his dream is the complete opposite of everything
he knows. Every rule points him in the direction of calling Mary out as an
adulteress. Yet before he even has his dream, he has already decided to break
the rules, to ignore what the neighbors will think by putting Mary away quietly.
That is the beginning of Joseph’s heart of love.
When Joseph awakens he realizes God has
given him a new heart. God has asked Joseph to do a new thing that requires a
new heart: a heart that is willing to break rules for the sake of God coming
into the world.
Joseph received his new heart of love when he heard these words in his
dream. “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for
the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and
you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”[2]
Even before the birth of Christ, the heart
of Christ began in Joseph. Not only through Mary’s “yes” to God asking her to
bear a child, but also through Joseph’s willingness to break the rules for love;
to discard what the neighbors will think. Joseph received a heart of lobe.
By being willing to receive a new heart, Joseph and Mary were the
bearers of God incarnate, born as human flesh from the heart of God’s love for
us.
In the midst of our anxieties about what the neighbors will think if we
don’t put up our Christmas lights on time or forget to bring Aunt Sue her usual
loaf of bread, or don’t wrap the gifts like Tiffany’s does, let us be willing.
Let us be willing to have a new heart. Let us be willing to lose our rule obeying,
law abiding, “what would the neighbors think” hearts, and let Christ give us a
new heart of love. AMEN.
The Rev Nicolette Papanek
©2016
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